Limbaugh’s cautionary tale of lesbian farmer invasion laughable

With all the vitriol from the presidential election washing over people, you have to think that things can’t get any worse.

Then you see a random link on Facebook, and you discover, by golly, it can get worse.

Apparently, Rush Limbaugh, the right-wing radio host who proclaimed the last Clinton presidency was basically America being held hostage, is doing his best Chicken Little impersonation as he warns about the latest threat to our amber waves of grain and the fruited plains.

Lesbian farmers.

Yes, the Republicans’ Jiminy Cricket is sounding the alarm about rural America being invaded by lesbian farmers. According to the Washington Free Beacon, the Obama administration is providing summits about farming for the gay and lesbian community. Here are excerpts from the U.S. Department of Agriculture’s website regarding what the initiative is about:

“Contrary to widely held myths that the LGBT community is largely living in affluent metropolitan areas, studies show a very different and more realistic picture of the LGBT community. For a number of reasons, many people in the LGBT community choose to live, work, and raise their families in the rural communities that the U.S. Department of Agriculture (USDA) is proud to serve.

“In fact, according to the Williams Institute, ‘almost 10% of all same-sex couples in the country live in rural America’ and these couples are actually more likely to be families of color and raising children. The National Gay and Lesbian Task Force also issued a report finding that these couples are more likely to be low-income and are almost twice as likely to receive public assistance. The transgender community is particularly vulnerable.

“Transgender people, especially transgender people of color, experience disturbingly high rates of poverty across the country. Additional research conducted by the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force and National Center for Transgender Equality shows that they are four times as likely to have a household income under $10,000 and twice as likely to be unemployed as non-transgender people. The LGBT community in rural America has a number of particular needs and vulnerabilities that USDA is excited to target and address.

“In an effort to elevate the voices of the LGBT community living in rural America, USDA and the National Center for Lesbian Rights, is proud to launch the #RuralPride campaign. The centerpiece of this campaign is a series of day-long summits hosted by USDA, NCLR, and a number of local partners based in rural communities across the country.

“These summits will give us a chance to focus on the unique needs of the rural LGBT community, highlight the important federal policy efforts underway to protect this community, and identify next steps to ensure all rural communities have access to the resources they need to thrive.”

Here’s what Limbaugh had to say about that:

“They are trying to bust up one of the last geographically conservative regions in the country; that’s rural America.”

“Here comes the Obama regime with a bunch of federal money and they’re waving it around, and all you gotta do to get it is be a lesbian and want to be a farmer and they’ll set you up. I’m like you; I never before in my life knew that lesbians wanted to be farmers.

“I never knew that lesbians wanted to get behind the horse and the plow and start burrowing. I never knew it. … The objective here is to attack rural states. They’re already attacking suburbs, and that has been made perfectly clear by what happened in Milwaukee. They’re going after every geographic region that is known to be largely conservative. They never stop, folks. They are constantly on the march.”

If Limbaugh is to be believed, he apparently thinks lesbian farmers will bring about America’s ruination because homosexuals aren’t allowed in rural locations. We’re required to give up our seat on the bus to a heterosexual, and we have to stay on our reservation if we don’t want to get our butts whooped.

Oh, wait. That’s right. There are already gay men and lesbians out in the country, including me.

Now, there are plenty of reasons to not be thrilled about Obama’s policies during his term as president—Obamacare springs to mind—but offering help to farmers is not a bad one. Farmers produce the food we eat, and when you consider that so many people in our own country are going hungry, the last thing you want to do is freak out over who puts on the overalls and does the work to feed America. Limbaugh might want to keep that in mind, unless he’s afraid the next salad he eats might turn him into a lesbian just because a lesbian grew the lettuce.

He also might want to get an update on how farming is done. I’m not sure how many folks would use a horse and plow for farming today when you consider there’s that newfangled invention called a tractor. Limbaugh has been serving as a cautionary storyteller telling half-baked horror stories about the “threats to America” long before Donald Trump decided to run for president. What’s his next campfire spook talk going to be about—homosexuals laying siege to Broadway theaters?

Now, if the lesbians were to focus their attention on manufacturing oxycodone and Viagra, Limbaugh might be willing to overlook their sexuality. However, they want to manufacture his hamburgers and pork chops, and to him, that’s the unforgivable sin.

When America became America, about 90 percent of the people farmed. Today, only 3 percent of people work in agricultural fields. Fewer people are wanting to take on the task of feeding their neighbors. Many young people are unwilling to carry on the farming tradition their parents and grandparents spent their whole lives achieving. If Limbaugh wants to be outraged, he should be outraged about that, not about lesbians who want to farm during the day and snuggle next to a woman at night.

In the meantime, if you want a good chuckle, imagine Rush Limbaugh fleeing through a cornfield while pursued by a horde of women in flannel. I guarantee it’ll bring as much of a chuckle to you as it did to me.


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